


Death Was Light and Slipped in Through the Lock

by petulantbitch



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Maybe I'll Finish This One, POV Peter Nureyev, Peter Nureyev Needs a Hug, Peter Nureyev POV, Sad Peter Nureyev, Sorry Not Sorry, Wedding Night, kind of, mostly - Freeform, this hurt me too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:53:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25096402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petulantbitch/pseuds/petulantbitch
Summary: “How touching! Really, I’ve never seen anything so sweet. It’s such a shame you’ve ruined it for yourself, Ransom. It is Ransom, now, right? That’s what you’ve got them calling you? I prefer your real name, really, but I’ll keep it to myself I suppose.” The grinning mask seemed to poke fun at the worry that clouded the air, making it hard to breathe as my crewmates- no, my family- sat frozen in place, unsure how to act. Our plan had been to run, and it seems much too late for that now.“I’d like it to be known that I don’t want to do anything, but the bosses' orders are the bosses' orders. And really,” they shrugged, “you brought this on yourself.” Their arm flew toward their hip before extending towards me. No.Towards Juno.-Or, I turn a perfectly nice Jupeter wedding fic into something that makes me ugly cry.
Relationships: Buddy Aurinko & Peter Nureyev & Rita & Jet Sikuliaq & Juno Steel & Vespa, Buddy Aurinko/Vespa, Peter Nureyev & Rita, Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel, Rita & Juno Steel
Comments: 10
Kudos: 22





	1. In Our Choices Lie Our Fate

I'm wearing white again. That's something I haven't done in a while. In the past, though, something's gone wrong every time I have. It's a shame really, because I do look rather good in white. I just hope nothing goes wrong today. Today has to be perfect.

After all, I am getting married to the most perfectly imperfect lady in the galaxy. Juno Steel. It took months for me to actually process him agreeing to my proposal, and now that it's my wedding day, it still just feels like a dream. A really, really good dream, but a dream nonetheless. And if it is indeed a dream, I rather hope that I don't wake up anytime soon. 

We have an hour and forty minutes before the ceremony's commencement, and I have yet to actually see Juno in his dress, thanks to Rita insisting we uphold some Earthen wedding traditions- because they're "cute." One of which is that it's "bad luck" to see the bride in their dress before the actual ceremony. I could, of course, go take a look without anyone noticing me, but I can wait. And after all, I'd feel a little like I was disappointing Rita. She was very excited about all the traditions she's seen in her streams being upheld. Actually, she might be just as excited about this wedding as Juno and I.

In all honesty, everyone seems a little excited, in their own way. Vespa made an almost perfect replica of a wedding cake from one of Rita's streams (she insisted it was the prettiest she'd ever seen), and looks absolutely fantastic. Juno tried to help, but Vespa threatened to smack him with the whisk she was using to mix it all together. It was quite a scene, and Juno left the kitchen with batter all over his shirt. It's just chocolate, I think, but it seems to have come out pretty well. It's huge, so I don't know what we're going to do with the leftovers, but we'll figure it out, I suppose. 

There's an hour and thirty minutes left before the ceremony begins. I can't believe I spent 10 minutes straightening my bowtie- I enjoy perfection but that's a little much, even for me. Then again, nothing is too perfect for my Juno. I'm going to marry the most beautiful lady to ever exist, and nothing can be too perfect. 

"Mista Ransom?" Rita's voice came from the other side of my door, punctuated by a few knocks. "Can I come in?"

"Of course!" I stood up from my bed and opened the door for her. She smiled at me, but the smile was damped by a little bit of what seemed like worry. "Is everything okay, Rita?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah everything's just fine! But can I come in? I gotta talk to you, it's important-" The worried look on her face just grew as I stepped aside to let her in. Quickly closing the door behind her, she wrung her hands, staring at the floor. "Now, Mista Ransom, I don't want you to be mad at me but I uh-" She cut herself off, taking a deep breath and shaking her head before continuing. "I kinda sorta maybe accidentally intercepted some communications between some people who say you owe them money while I was messing around with the playlist for your wedding and they said that they're coming today to "give you some incentive" to pay them back or something mysterious like that and I didn't wanna tell you or Mista Steel or anyone else but y'know it's your business! And I don't wanna worry you on your wedding day of all days but I feel like this is important and that you should know so I came straight here to tell ya-"

The words came out so fast I barely had time to process them but... "Today? They're coming... today?"

"Mhm." Rita nodded, chewing on her lip and still not looking at me and instead opting to stare at her shoes.

My mouth went dry and my shoulders tensed as I finally managed to take in what she'd said. They're coming today, of all days. My wedding day. And who knows when they'll be here- It's late already and the ceremony starts in- I checked my watch- an hour and twenty-five minutes. We could have no time left. 

"We should go tell Buddy. Figure out a plan. She knows enough about the situation, so she should be able to help. If you came with me, told her what you heard, I'd appreciate it, Rita." I forced a smile, hiding my shaking hands in my pocket. I promised to stop filing away my emotions, but this... this sense of dread needs to be pushed away. Sorry, Juno. 

Rita smiled and nodded, grabbing my arm and tugging me towards the door. "Alright! Let's go- Miss Buddy should be in her room, getting dressed for the wedding."

-

Buddy was, as Rita said, in her room getting dressed for my wedding. Rita, bursting into the room in the way she does sometimes, made the poor captain jump so high the lipstick she was applying ended up on her cheek. "Miss Buddy, Miss Buddy! Me an' Mista Ransom got something to tell you!" She bounced up and down, a little too excited given the circumstances. 

"Well, first you should call down a little Rita, dear." Buddy smiled a little, spinning her chair around to face us. "What is it? I certainly hope you aren't having second thoughts Pete, that would be rather uncomfortable," she said with a small laugh, cocking her head at me. 

"No, it's nothing like that. But this may be a little more pressing, you see-" 

"The people Mista Ransom owe money or whatever to are coming here, today, to try to "give him some incentive" to pay 'em back faster or something! I heard it in a comm I intercepted, and I went straight to Mista Ransom and he suggested we come tell you so here we are! Please help us make sure the wedding isn't ruined because I was oh-so excited which is kind of weird because it isn't my wedding but it makes me so happy to see Mista Steel and Mista Ransom happy-" I was relieved when Rita took over, but that was… a lot. 

"Yes, exactly Rita. Thank you for that. Do you happen to have any suggestions for what we should do?” Asking for help isn’t my strong suit, but she is still in charge, so it can’t hurt.

“Well, the only thing I can see to do is to have the wedding now and try our best to flee before anyone can show up and cause trouble. That is our job, after all.” She smiled a little, but it was easy to see the worry behind her eyes. That was a little unnerving, as when Buddy’s worried, there’s usually a rather good reason. 

“That sounds perfect.” It didn’t, not really. Juno and I were set to get married at the time we’d met, just as I’d proposed to him at that time. 1:34 in the afternoon, Mars time. But we can afford to sacrifice a little sentimentality, I suppose. It wouldn’t be the first time. “I suppose I should go let everyone know- Especially Juno.”

“That would be a good idea. Oh, and Rita? You don’t happen to have the comm messages still, do you? I’d like to take a look at them.”

“I… don’t. At least, not really. I tried to download them, but the files corrupted, kind of like they had some sorta self-destruct setting or something! I can try to fix ‘em, but it’ll probably take an hour or so…” Rita wrung her hands, looking up at Buddy.

“That’s alright dear, just let me know when you do.” She turned back towards the mirror and began to fix her lipstick. “Meet me on the deck when you get everyone ready Pete, alright? I’ll have you and Juno married as soon as possible. The rest of the festivities can wait until you’re safe.”

I nodded and turned towards the door, walking towards the kitchen, where Vespa would inevitably be putting the finishing touches on our wedding food. Rita followed me, but ducked into her room instead, presumably to work on fixing those files. 

I just hope we can move fast enough to get out of any danger.


	2. While I Breathe, I Hope

Vespa was in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on the food. It’s a shame we might not get to enjoy it tonight, as I chose some of the finest foods I’ve ever tasted. Of course, I was limited by what we had access too, but Rita and I still put together quite the menu. 

As soon as I entered the kitchen, Vespa looked back from where she was standing at the stove, stirring a pot of something creamy and red. “What do you want, Ransom? Shouldn’t you be powdering your nose and getting all pretty for your big day? You’ve only got an hour or so left.” As she spoke, a hint of a smile appeared on her face, her lips twitching up. Vespa’s just as excited as everyone else, and I have a good feeling she doesn’t want to stab me as much as she did when I first joined the crew, more than she wants anyone to know. 

“That would be exactly why I’m here. We’re moving the wedding up, and postponing all of the extras. Well, everything but the vows, really. Buddy says to meet her on the deck as soon as possible.”

Vespa sighed audibly, switched off the stove, and moved what she’d been stirring off the burner. “Lemme guess. Trouble followed you all the way out here, and it’s related to something you-” She turned back to face me, arms crossed and eyes flashing. “-won’t tell us.”

I forced a smile, taking a step backwards, out the door. “You’re… You’re not entirely wrong, all things considered. Now, do you happen to know where Jet is? I should let him know about the change of plans as well.”

She shrugged her shoulders and took off her apron (which happens to read “Kiss the cook, and you’ll get stabbed,” with “unless you’re buddy” underneath it in smaller print. It was a gift from Rita for Vespa’s and Buddy’s wedding, and the fact that she actually wears it is rather endearing.). “Either with that damn car, or in his room, as usual. Nothing ever changes with him.” She turned to hang up her apron and dusted her hands off, no longer paying any attention to me. 

“Alright, thank you.” I turned to go find Jet, and I got two steps out of the kitchen before Vespa called out. 

“Hey, Ransom? If we don’t get a chance to eat this food, and I spent hours cooking, on top of having to listen to you and Rita wedding plan for months, I’ll kill you before whoever’s coming gets a chance. Alright? Don’t ruin your own wedding because you’re an idiot.” With that, she pushed past me and headed down the hall. I know she was at least half serious. And the thought of ruining my own wedding… It hurts. Mostly because all I want is for Juno to have a good wedding experience. His tales of his last one are rather sour.

The last thing I want is for him to look back on today with the same bitterness he looks back on that day. I want memories of today to make him smile when he looks back. He’s so pretty when he smiles. I love his crooked smile more than almost anything else. It’s so rare, it feels like it’s the most valuable thing in the galaxy, worth more than anything I’ve ever stolen. 

“Is there a reason you knocked on my door, or are you just going to continue staring at nothing?” Jet’s voice broke through my thoughts, and he stood in front of me in his doorway, arms crossed and eyebrows raised. I must’ve walked to his room and knocked on the door without even thinking about it. Today’s really made me into quite the distracted mess, and I can’t afford that.

“Ah, yes. I just wanted to let you know that we’re moving the wedding up. Buddy wants everyone on deck for vows as soon as possible. Everything else is being postponed until later. We’re expecting trouble.” Forcing yet another smile, I stepped out of the doorway so he could leave.

His brow furrowed with worry, and he nodded a little. “Alright. Do we know what kind of trouble?” 

“I’m not sure. But if it hits us, it won’t be good.” I felt my voice threaten to crack, my composure wavering as possibilities ran through my mind. Unknowns are dangerous, which is why I’m usually the unknown in any given situation. It’s safer for me that way.

And while I am loath to admit it, I rather like everyone on the Carte Blanche. The thought of any of them in danger is uncomfortable, and that they might be in danger because of me is even worse. 

“Well, I’ll see you on deck then.” Jet left his room, heading down the hall towards the deck, while I walked the other way. Towards the next bedroom, where Juno would be. I brace myself for whatever reaction he may have, and knock on the door. 

“Juno, dear? Can I come in? I have something to tell you, and it’s quite urgent.”

“Nureyev? Dammit, you know you’re not supposed to see me before the wedding. Can’t you just wait the forty minutes we have left?”

“I’m afraid that that’s what I need to talk to you about.”

The was a moment of silence and footsteps approaching the door, accompanied by the rustling of fabric on the floor. “…You’re not bailing on me, are you? Because if you are, I swear-” 

I laughed a little, shaking my head and leaning against the door. “No, no. Nothing like that. I promise. Just please, open up and we can sit down and talk about it. We need to be quick though, the others are waiting.”

“They’re waiting?” Hearing the doorknob start to turn, I stood up straight again. The door opened, and there stood Juno, a vision in layers of pure white lace, gorgeous as always. Behind him sat a bouquet of roses and his veil, both on his mess of a bed. He let out a shaky breath and looked at me, swaying slightly in his heels as his eyes narrowed slightly. “Waiting for what, Nureyev? Why am I always the last to know everything?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kind of a filler chapter, and kind of short, so i apologize. the good stuff comes soon though.


	3. I Know I Seem Shaky, These Hands Aren’t Fit For Holding

He let out a shaky breath and looked at me, swaying slightly in his heels as his eyes narrowed slightly. “Waiting for what, Nureyev? Why am I always the last to know everything?”

I sighed, smiling at him. “You’re the last to know because yours is the last room down the hallway. It made sense to stop by everyone else first, dear, it’s nothing against you.”

“Get to the point, would you? What’s wrong?” Worry darkened his face, creases appearing on his forehead as he stared at me, arms crossed.

“Rita intercepted some messages that happened to concern me and some… acquaintances that aren’t extremely happy with me at the moment. We believe they found the Carte Blanche, and plan on coming today in order to give me some ‘incentive’ to pay them back earlier.” I rubbed the back of my neck before reaching for his hands, clasping them tightly. “Buddy suggested we move the wedding up, do all the official things now- like vows- and wait to do everything else until we’re in the clear. Just to be safe.”

Juno worried his lip, deflating a little. “…As long as you’re safe, I don’t care. You said everyone’s waiting? Then let’s go.” He pulled his hands from mine and turned to grab his veil and the bouquet behind him.

“Juno, are you sure? I want you to be alright with this. I don’t want you to go through a second wedding disaster, in fact, that’s the last thing I want-“

“I said let’s go, didn’t I?” he snapped, facing the veil as he put it on his head. “Really, I love you, but what we want doesn’t matter if it’ll put anyone in danger. As long as no one gets hurt, I’m alright with it.” He turned back to me and sighed, shaking his head. “Sorry, that was aggressive. I didn’t mean to get upset like that.” He smiled, shakily, and walked towards me, holding his hand out. “Let’s go get married, huh?”

\---

“Ah, our lovebirds have finally arrived.” Buddy flashed us a grin as we walked onto the deck, navy blue velvet pantsuit rustling as she stood up from where she was seated next to Vespa. “Let’s get you two married.” Walking towards the makeshift altar we’d set up days before, she gestured for Juno and me to join her. “You wrote your own vows, right?” I nodded, grabbing Juno’s hands as he stood across from me, still gorgeous despite the worry that knotted his brows.

“We did. Or, I did. I can’t speak for the lady, really.” I smiled at him, squeezing his hands.

“Of course I wrote my vows, I’m no slacker.” He smiled back, relaxing a little more.

“Well, in that case- Pete, would you start?” Rita squealed from where she was seated, kicking her legs as she recorded the entire thing. Ordinarily, I’d be all for the camera. I enjoy putting on a show. But it feels a little invasive now, at this moment. I’ll let it slide though, for Rita.

“Of course. I’m usually the thief and not the victim of one. But I left your place that night with a realization: you’d stolen my heart, whether or not you even knew it. I’d never even imagined you’d feel the same way, not really, nor that we’d even get married, so this is an extremely pleasant surprise. And while I don’t know what the future holds, I do know that I’ll stay by your side through it all. I’d do anything for you, even when things get rough. I love you, Juno Steel, my perfectly imperfect lady, the brightest, most cynical, most gorgeous star in the galaxy. While you may think me ridiculous, I could never love you in moderation, as I am far from moderate myself. You are my everything, in both life and death, though I hope the latter doesn’t approach anytime soon. ” I laughed softly, a tear slipping down my cheek as I pulled Juno’s ring out of my pocket and slid it onto his finger. I’d actually bought the ring, so it’s mostly legitimate. Minus the fact that the money, I’d used to buy it was made from selling something stolen. But that’s beside the point.

“Juno?”

Juno sighed, chewing on his lip as he pulled one hand from mine and rubbed the back of his neck. “We really should’ve cross-referenced these, because now I feel stupid. Like a kid who got accused of cheating on an essay or something when he really didn’t, y’know? Ugh…” He shook his head, grabbing my hand again. “I fully expected you to steal from me, and well, you did. The keys to my safe.” I snickered at that- I’d almost forgotten. Juno stuck his tongue out at me before continuing. “But, you stole something else, something that I didn’t realize you’d taken until a while later. My heart. I fell for you hard, and I’m so glad I did. And we’ve had our issues- most of which stemmed from me leaving, so I feel like it’s appropriate to promise that I won’t ever do that again-“

Juno’s grip on my hands tightened as another voice cut him off.

“Ah, you really shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep, Mr. Steel.” I could hear the smirk in their voice, despite being unable to see a face behind their mask. Nodding towards us, they took a seat next to Vespa, who gritted her teeth, hand flying to the knife at her hip. “Please, continue. Don’t stop on my account. I just wanted to see the happy couple married!” The smiling face of the mask seemed to taunt me as they sat there, hands folded neatly in their lap.

“I think I’m done, actually,” Juno choked out, eyes wide as he looked up at me, hands shaking as he slid my ring onto my finger.

Buddy nodded, reaching out to put a hand on both of our shoulders. “In that case- Peter Ransom, do you take Juno Steel to be your lawful- er, unlawfully wedded wife?”

I smiled softly, trying to ignore the stranger watching us as I pulled Juno a little closer. “I do.”

“And Juno Steel, do you take Peter Ransom to be your unlawfully wedded husband?”

Tears formed in his eyes as he nodded. “I do.”

“You may now kiss the bride.”

I pulled Juno as close as I could, leaning down to kiss him. He kissed back, lips pressed against mine and arms around my neck. This kiss was unlike any other kiss we’d shared, but it wasn’t because we got married. No, it’s because fear overtook any other emotion. I hated it, but I didn’t want to pull away, out of the same fear- the fear that this could be our last kiss. Eventually, I had to pull away, but I still held Juno close. After I did, loud, slow claps broke the tense silence on the deck. The masked stranger was standing, clapping.

“How touching! Really, I’ve never seen anything so sweet. It’s such a shame you’ve ruined it for yourself, Ransom. It is Ransom, now, right? That’s what you’ve got them calling you? I prefer your real name, really, but I’ll keep it to myself I suppose.” The grinning mask seemed to poke fun at the worry that clouded the air, making it hard to breathe as my crewmates- no, my family- sat frozen in place, unsure how to act. Our plan had been to run, and it seems much too late for that now.

“I’d like it to be known that I don’t want to do anything, but the bosses' orders are the bosses' orders. And really,” they shrugged, “you brought this on yourself.” Their arm flew toward their hip before extending towards me. No.

Towards Juno.

A blaster shot rang out, a flash of light striking Juno in the chest before I could even move. Vespa was on them in an instant, knives flashing, but it was too late. Juno was falling, the perfect white lace of his wedding dress singed at his chest. I dove for him, catching him in my arms as Buddy ran around us. Kneeling on the ground, I held Juno to my chest, eyes wide as I frantically grabbed the tablecloth off the altar, pressing it to the wound to try to stop the bleeding. Trying to stop the dark crimson from seeping through, spreading like a spider web as it soaked into the fabric of his dress. It didn’t stop though, and all Juno could do was laugh bitterly, shaking his head.

“It’s funny, really.” He coughed, blood speckling his lips. “The Steel twins going out the same way. Ma’s fuck up with the blaster finally caught up with me.” Juno sighed and then winced. “It’s a shame it had to happen today though. I was looking forward to our wedding night.” Smirking, he wiggled his eyebrows at me. Smug bastard, even while he lies bleeding in my arms.

“Don’t say that, it’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay. Don’t you dare just welcome death with open arms, Juno.” My vision blurred as tears flowed from my eyes, dripping onto Juno’s arm. The blood had soaked through the tablecloth, staining it red and brown, staining my hands red and brown. With Juno’s blood.

“What did you say in your vows? That I’d be your everything in both life and death? You’d better uphold that promise.” Juno shoved the tablecloth off his chest and sat up a little, grunting in pain as he did. “Just kiss me. Please.”

And I did. I pulled him close and kissed him softly. As he kissed me back, the sharp tang of blood hit my tongue, coating my mouth, making me pull away.

Juno winced as I did, staring at my suit. I looked down at where he was looking and rolled my eyes. “Juno, don’t you dare-“

“Sorry ‘bout the suit, Peter. You should get it dry cleaned or something-“ He choked on the words, even more blood bubbling up in his mouth, dribbling down his chin. “Fuck… Listen, I love you, alright? Don’t forget that.”

“I could never forget it,” I choked out, stifling a sob. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, feeling his heartbeat and his ragged breathing. “I love you too, so much… So, so much…” He threaded his fingers through my hair, hand shaking violently as he pressed a kiss to my head.

And I cried. I cried, and I cried, and I cried. I couldn’t stop it, couldn’t let go. I barely even noticed when the sound of his heartbeat disappeared, when a knife and a body dropped to the ground at the same time.

I clutched him close, sobs wracking my body, blood coating my hands, my arms, my face. It’s everywhere. If only I stopped it. If only I’d stayed away. It’s my fault.

A hand touched my shoulder, a voice murmured in my ear. “Pete, you’ve got to get up. It’ll be okay.”

Shaking my head, I held him tighter. It’ll never be okay again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops?


	4. I Knew Nothing But the Shadows and Thought Them to be Real

It’s been a month. According to Vespa, at least. Time hasn’t really been something I’ve kept track of since I lost him. It stretches on, and on, even though it seemed to pass so fast with him around. With him, everything felt better. I felt. He convinced me to allow myself to feel, but I wish I never did. Filing everything away was how I survived, but I can’t seem to do it anymore, to push it all away. And he’s not here to help me handle it.

Juno. 

Juno Steel. I should say his name. It hurts, but I should say it. I see his face, his beautiful, scarred face every time I close my eyes. I see him as he was in my arms, bleeding, taking his last breaths and apologizing for “ruining my suit.” I wish I could see him as he was before, as I want to remember him, but somehow that image disappeared from my head. I have pictures, of course, but they hurt to look at.

It all just hurts.

People die. I know this. I’ve killed plenty of people. But I wasn’t ready for him to die. To lose Juno was to lose a part of myself, and this time I can’t get it back. It was my fault, really. I’m the only one I can truly blame. 

It’s been a month and the suit I was wearing is still shoved in the back of my closet, less white and more brown. I can’t bear to look at it, but I also just. Can’t get rid of it. Buddy and Rita tried to throw it out while I was sleeping last night, but I wasn’t really sleeping. I overreacted, I yelled at them. Any emotional control I’d had before is gone. The control has been replaced by an empty, gaping hole, throbbing with nothing but anger. Anything would be better than this, and the worst part is, I can’t even do anything in retribution- Juno’s killer is dead, but those who orchestrated it… They still need to be paid. I can’t even do anything about it.

Is this how Juno used to feel? Why he used to lash out so much? If so, at least I can begin to understand that. 

But I just want it to stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i might keep going but this might be the end, I'm not sure- thoughts?

**Author's Note:**

> updates will be slow because i'm grounded, and I apologize for that and that alone.
> 
> also blame this on the tpp cosplayer server for the little angst spree a week or so ago that led to this fic


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